three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
