Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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