Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
