Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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