I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's always time for handjobs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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