Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize