I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
