this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
