ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
