everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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