i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
