Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
two words: eviction party
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
