i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize