I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
