Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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