I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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