shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is wine microwaveable?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
