fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
