i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
