Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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