I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
