I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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