I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
