They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
