I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize