I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
