I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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