No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
