Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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