i don't like sucking hair
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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