I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
