you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
