Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
