my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
