I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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