last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
