i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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