dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
