You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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