It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
