You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.