you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
