i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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