Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you win again, gameday.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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