return my video game
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
