I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
