i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
