TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
