Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
