How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
