never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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