"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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