omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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