My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
