do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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