I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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