Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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