she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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