Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
