was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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