This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this boner is exhausting
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
