She's JV to your varsity
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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