but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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